I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
