i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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