it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
