Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
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