he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize
