Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
