her vagine was all disorganized.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
