New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Drunk walkin through police station. America
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
