i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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