the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
