How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
