just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
