me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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