I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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