he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
