I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
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