He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
