dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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