Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
