Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
