Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Randomize
