Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
