you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Randomize
