i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
