Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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