Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(810): View more from Michigan

I'm laying in your front yard are you home

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(630): View more from Illinois

my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.

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(775): View more from Nevada

At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.

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(303): View more from Colorado

Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.

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23 Annoying things Girls Do When They’re Trying To Be Cute
Read it at the TFLN blog
(530): View more from California

There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.

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(641): View more from Iowa

I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.

(515): View more from Iowa

That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.

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(720): View more from Colorado

You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"

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(856): View more from New Jersey

You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"

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(812): View more from Indiana

If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.

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