Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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