I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.