But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.