bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
People With No Siblings Will Never Understand These 23 Things
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
25 Seemingly Normal Things That Give Some People Massive Anxiety
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs