He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
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When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
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She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
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