Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
