i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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