haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize