I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
