oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Randomize
