Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
