Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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