ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Randomize
