I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
