Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
