My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
