he puts the penis in happiness.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
He shit in the fireplace
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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