Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
