it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
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