Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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