yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Randomize
