I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
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