For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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