**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
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