NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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