I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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