what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
