Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
