you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
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