break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
