Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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