My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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