totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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