Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize