Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
He kissed a someone with a penis
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize
