Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Randomize
